So the first week of quarantine has just passed and we've just been told
that the original 15-day period is going to be extended by a further 15 days.
Great. The first couple of days were the worst for me as it was a huge shock to
my system.
I'm a creature of habit, in love with my routines and these were all taken
away from me. "No problem" I thought. I consider myself pretty
switched on upstairs (at times) and sincerely believed that I would find a
logical solution to this situation and sail on through like I do with most
things. Easily done... in theory. About the third day onwards the hours, days
and dates started melding into each other and up until a few hours ago I hadn't
realised that today was Sunday.
My already terrible sleeping pattern was thrown into further disarray so I
found myself going to sleep around 5am which would normally mean me staggering
into bed, exhausted except I wasn’t. As I wasn’t using up much energy during
the day due to being stuck indoors, I went to sleep at 5am as calmly as if it
was my usual bedtime of around midnight. Waking up times were also seemingly randomly
generated and so far this week it has been between 8am and 11am.
The worst part I’ve been trying to deal with (unsuccessfully) is the sudden
wave of apathy that has swept over me. I’ve put off answering text messages and
not answered calls from most people which is very unlike me. I don’t know why
but it feels as though I’ve given up deep down inside. Is it my way of
expressing being fed up of the situation? Perhaps it’s a way for my subconscious
to suppress the anger I have inside about this whole thing? I don’t know.
I try to convince myself that this is far from a ‘terrible’ quarantine all
things considered but even though I am holed up in relative luxury I recall the
saying that “everyone has their own demons and everyone deals with them in
their own way” and can’t help but smile at how this rings true right now. I
just hope that when this whole thing is eventually over I will remember how to carry
on with my life as I did pre-quarantine.
